Ah, laddies, pass around that whisky and listen to the story of the Pumpkin Slayer. ‘Twas a cold and blustery October day, and I had put off my decision as long as I could. My heel wouldn’t heal, so I had to quickly gather my bolts and bow for Procrastinators’ Brawl. There would be no fencing for me. We arrived with a minute to spare for me to enter my project in the Arts & Science competition. It was a quiver I started in 1998 for my lady. I should get around to finishing it one of these days. Eventually, I wandered over to the archery range. It wasn’t up yet, so I took a nap. We’d eventually get around to shooting, after all. It was Procrastinators, what’d you expect?
A call to arms! Invaders! Treasure to the one who drives the most off! After a fair showing, we drove them off. But then the undead arrived. Shoot them in the skull! Excellent aim, that showed ’em. Wait, what’s this?! A possessed pumpkin? Kill it. KILL IT!!! And so I did. Oh, Jack was a right cheeky bastard, so that’s where I put the first shot. Then I got him right between the eyes. But it kept coming. So I punched one right down it’s gullet – and through. Afterwards, I tried to retrieve my bolts, but they were buried so deep we had to perform an autopsy on the jack-o-lanterns’ corpse.
Final score: 3+15+9=27 for second place. But the winner was the person who ran the contest. Which means: